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Coffee - House Propoganda
Publishers Summary Cause apparently the average person doesn't know how to order a cup of coffee. Transcript : Coffee Jerk : Hell-oo! Welcome to Star-Schmuck's Coffee houses! : Foamy : Yeah, yeah, yeah.. Shut up and listen! I got this fuckin' flyer in the mail from you GOD-DAMN coffe-house establishment. Are you people sick? : Coffee Jerk : What seems to be the problem, sir? It's just a simple flyer, as to tell you how to order your coffee? Because you mere morons, don't know what you're doin'? : Foamy : Riiiight. So you're tellin' me, that you and your company think your customers are SO STUPID that you actually have to give them a set of directions on HOW to ORDER a cup of Coffee. : Coffe Jerk : Have you ever worked as a 'Barista'? Oh, it's hell... : Foamy : Barista? What the hell, is a fuckin' Barista? Is that Mexican for know-nothing coffee-swill serving asshole? 'Coz that's pretty accurate. And what the fuck is with THIS phrase; "What image does your drink convey about you?" : Coffee Jerk : It just means that when you get a StarSchmuck's coffee, you, convey, a certain image? An image that is.... Ab*Fab?. That's... Absolutely Fabulous to you un-trendy folks. : Foamy : Ehhwwww, I see! I see! So your flyer says, as long as I'm carrying around a StarSchmuck's coffee cup, I'll convey the image, of a Trendy individual, Loved by all, and Accepted by the Coffee-house illuminati! : Coffe Jerk : That's Right! (Holds up Rainbow Flag, signifying 'Homosexual') : Foamy : Oh, yeah? Who the fuck are YOU to tell me how to order a cup of coffee? Pan to CoffeeJerk : Foamy : I'm the customer, you're the servant! If I say for you to get me a large hazlenut coffee with no sucky undertaste, you say, Yes Sir! And get it! If I tell you to shoot yourself in the head, you say, Yes Sir! And do it! : Coffee Jerk : Unh... We don't have, Large? : Foamy : Don't get me started on that bullshut, you asshole! Your coffee-house propaganda will NOT work on me! You fuckers are like the Nazis of the Coffee-house circuit! Fuck you! Fuck your flyer! And fuck your directions on how to order coffee! Look at this! It's a Doon-Kin Don-Nottz Coffee cup! HA! I shun you and your trendy fuckin' coffee-house bullshit! : Coffee Jerk : Puh-Lease! That coffee cup is SO out of style? : Foamy : Uh-huh. How about burning your face off with the scolding hot contents of this out-of-date coffee-cup? That trendy enough for you? Huh? : Coffee Jerk : Uhmmm.... That type of violence when out of style, with those, Freddy Crouger films? He was such a bitch. : Foamy : Hey. Freddy Versus Jason kicked ass. I don't care what anyone says. : Coffee Jerk : Ugh. I know I should've stayed in Massachusetts. : Foamy : Oh, I see. Fleeing the Country to avoid the subject now, unh? Huh-huh. End screen appears. : Coffee-House : Propaganda no more! End screen appears. External Links *Illwillpress website